Aug. 21st
I miiiight have to step away from coding for awhile and focus on my art. I don't think I can make a good site unless I know the sort of art style I have. Idkkkk man I feel so stifled creatively and I think it's because I'm not disciplined about practicing whatsoever and I also just never know what to draw? I should start just drawing whatever pops into my head and not worry about if it'll look good or not. Again, any advice or input is welcome at mycologybro@gmail.com .
Aug. 21st
Realized last night that once again I am seeking for identity in physical things. I can't go back to looking for it in relationships, so I'm not all too sure of where to look now. I feel like I've been in a constant identity crisis since the age of 13. I'll be 17 in a few days, I'm kinda scared. I mean I've considered the idea that I don't need to worry about identity right now, but what else is there? That's been my focus almost all my life. Shall I just focus on responsible pleasure? Just do what feels good without hurting myself? I don't know. Email me at mycologybro@gmail.com, if you'd like to provide input. If anyone sees this, haha. Anyways, I just feel sort of lost altogether. I'll pray to my patron (Apollo) about it.
Also I got a chromebook for free so updates will be more frequent yay
Aug. 12th
Starting to think I should just redo my whole site. The formatting is nottttt it, and I need to learn Javascript I think. How to have a cool site without a custom font quickest route no freeways. Puter do you hear me
Jul. 31st
Sighhh I wish I had a computer at home,,, coding on iPad is soooo stupid, I'd update much more regularly if I had a computer. Someday, perhaps!
Apr. 25th
I was reading someone else's blog, and they said something along the lines of "I kept saying to myself 'oh I want to create, too bad I can't.' and then I realized my anxiety/fear was the thing holding me back." and that really resonated with me. I want to create so badly but I have no inspiration due to being too scared to try anything. I think I was also never taught to put effort into anything (thanks mom) and that's definitely negatively impacted my ability to invest in my passions. I want to do better for myself, and for future me. I'm tired of feeling lazy/dumb, it's time i do something about it. I need to spend my time creating instead of consuming. It takes energy to create, it doesn't take barely anything to consume. I need my personhood back, my soul has been muddied by viewing everyone else's.