Jul. 31st
Sighhh I wish I had a computer at home,,, coding on iPad is soooo stupid, I'd update much more regularly if I had a computer. Someday, perhaps!
Apr. 25th
I was reading someone else's blog, and they said something along the lines of "I kept saying to myself 'oh I want to create, too bad I can't.' and then I realized my anxiety/fear was the thing holding me back." and that really resonated with me. I want to create so badly but I have no inspiration due to being too scared to try anything. I think I was also never taught to put effort into anything (thanks mom) and that's definitely negatively impacted my ability to invest in my passions. I want to do better for myself, and for future me. I'm tired of feeling lazy/dumb, it's time i do something about it. I need to spend my time creating instead of consuming. It takes energy to create, it doesn't take barely anything to consume. I need my personhood back, my soul has been muddied by viewing everyone else's.